God's Grace

I’ve decided to return to my weekly Friday calls to my mother. It’s been hard to do of late because the conversations are so superficial. No more in depth discussions about current events, family members and life in general. Basically, it’s “How are you mom?”, “How’s the weather?”, How was work this week?” (she thinks that she’s going to work when she goes to her Alzheimer’s day care three times a week—so we humor her)—Stuff like that. When I hang up the phone, I’m always sad—wishing for those great conversations we used to have.

Well, I’ve been reading Alzheimer’s books lately—books by people who have loved ones dealing with this disease—books by doctors on how to relate to Alzheimer’s patients—books by people with Alzheimer’s. I try to temper my reading by reading one Alzheimer’s book followed by a novel—something to rest my mind. I’m finding that reading these books is really helping me. I’ve started searching for a different way to relate to my mom and I think I’m starting to find my way.

Last Friday I read her a poem. She’s always loved poems and plays. In our church, she was in charge of holiday plays and programs that the children performed—She loved that. The poem I read her last Friday was one that she had read at her 90th birthday party. On that Friday phone call, she did not remember that she’d read it, but she loved the poem and it seemed to lift her spirits.

This Friday I sang her a song. It was a song from my young church choir days. I sang solo and the name of the song was Grace. I remembered the chorus so I sang it to her. It went like this:

Grace, Grace
God's Grace
His Grace is sufficient for me...
Grace, Grace
Amazing Grace
His Grace is sufficient for me

I could hear her singing beneath my words and so I slowed down so we could sing together. When I finished the chorus—Guess what? She recited the first verse!!! I was so excited. All by herself she said:

Grace woke me up this morning
Grace started me on my way
Grace will make you love your enemies
And what is more I know grace will brighten up your day

I couldn’t believe it! It was so wonderful to have her recall something that even I could not remember. As soon as she said the words, I knew that they were correct. I praised her. I said “Mom”, you’re doing better than I—I couldn’t even remember those words—Good job”. It was like music to hear her laugh.

It is so nice to find new ways to relate to my mother. It brings me joy and when I hung up I had a smile on my face.